i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
