got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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