So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Randomize
