next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
