Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
