I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
