I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
