Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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