so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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