What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
