I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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