is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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