Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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