remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
