Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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