I can't watch pbs sober anymore
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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