Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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