I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
