I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
