No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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