I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
