I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
