Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize