Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
