I feel great
I just peed on a car
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
