So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize