in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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