my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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