with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize