everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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