He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
