And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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