This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
