the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
