I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
