I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i think my mom watched the whole time
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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