R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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