That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
