what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
