dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
