Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
