but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
