Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
