We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
