She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
