I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
there is glitter all over my balls
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
