We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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