Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
