she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
