So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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