so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
