***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
