This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
