I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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