a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
We have so much sex to catch up on
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
