I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
