DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
