Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
