My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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