what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize
