So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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