i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
