Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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