do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
