i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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