god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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