Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize