She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize