'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I'm like, not good at living.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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