is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize